Neptune and Online Romance

It has occurred to me that the symbolism of Neptune in Aquarius fits pretty well with the phenomenon of online dating and romance. The sign of Aquarius is associated with modern high technology, and it seems to be particularly correlated with the rise of the Internet. Neptune is associated with romance, fantasy, confusion, deception, imagination and escape. That combination sounds pretty much like what I hear about the world of dating online.

I've watched my friends fall prey to Internet dating delusions (painful ones at that); I read about them (on the Internet of course), and I've even seen television programs about them. Somehow or another people have taken their innate abilities to fool themselves and others when it comes to romance (which is different from love, I think) and transferred them seamlessly to the Internet.

Now I'm not going to say that all relationships established through online dating or chatting are inherently delusional, but gosh there are a lot of pitfalls. It seems to be sooooo easy to think you're in love when you don't actually have to deal with a person in the flesh. Face to face human contact involves a whole host of complications that online chatting doesn't, such as facial expression, tone of voice, gestures, and even "vibe." When you meet someone online, you meet only those parts of the person that he or she chooses to reveal.

That's kind of typical of how Aquarius works. The sign isn't all that hot on revealing itself; it would much rather investigate everyone else. Furthermore, Aquarius is one of those signs willing to dispense with the old-fashioned formalities of romance--like physical contact! Aquarius isn't a touchy-feely sign; it's a sign that probably actually believes that people can make an enduring connection based solely on intellectual compatibility, chatting, and the sharing of deep thoughts.

People probably can make enduring connections based on these things, but most people, when they fall in love, eventually want the rest of the package. And therein lies the rub. While we're in the Aquarian territory of "virtual" relating, Neptune kicks into gear. It attaches its fantasies and its inherent confusions onto the virtual lover, and finds itself entirely unprepared for reality. It deceives by making its willing victims believe they know everything about a person because they feel they know the person's "true" insides.

Unfortunately, perhaps, real life is lived on the outside. Real life involves junk like ex or not so ex-wives that don't get mentioned, kids, responsibilities, irritations, annoyances, errands, jobs, and a whole lot of unromantic physical reality. The lover that seems so ideal online might be the guy next to you at the restaurant who eats with his mouth open! You can overlook that in virtual-reality-land because you don't have to see it--it's a bit harder to take when you try to establish an offline relationship.  

We all have a bit of Neptune in our natures. We all deceive ourselves and others consciously and unconsciously. The cold, hard truth of our lives is often a bit much to take, so we soften it up a bit Neptune-style. If we're going to join the brave new world of Aquarian/Neptune dating, we probably ought to take that into account.

We probably ought to remember that online relationships are imaginary until proven otherwise, that no one is perfect even if he or she says really wonderful things online, that everyone wants escape and the Internet provides it and that there is no real substitute for the complexities of flesh-and-blood relating. We ought to.

I suspect, however, that a lot of us won't remember the basic facts of romance (e.g., that true intimate relating is often quite hard and only comes after prolonged contact and negotiation with a promising but flawed and imperfect partner) until Neptune in Aquarius delusions run their course. Eventually, we'll catch up with our own technology, and we'll figure out better ways to protect ourselves from cheaters, liars, and our own foolishness on the Internet.

Until then, I suppose, we'll keep thinking we're falling in love with people we haven't met or don't know nearly as well as we think, and a lot of us will keep learning that we were traveling down a garden path in the process.

But maybe you disagree. Maybe online romance has enriched your life or worked out wonderfully. Maybe you have entirely different take on Neptune in Aquarius and online dating. If so, feel free to weigh in.