Love & romance Expert Voices Today

Are You There?

One of the things I used to hate when I was a little girl was hearing my grandfather -- or for that matter even one of my parents -- refer to things in the past. Well, not really things in the past so much as the use of the expression, "In my day ..." I sort of promised myself that when I got older, I would refrain from employing that expression. It's probably a really good idea that I made that pact with myself because in my life time, there has certainly been an enormous amount of change. I'd be forever saying it to my kids and they already find me so annoying; I certainly don't want to add to it. Technology takes the lead More…

Intelligent Relating

Some of you may know that aside from my private practice, I also teach Psychology at an undergraduate level at a local University. One of the topics I cover is Intelligence. The widely accepted opinion now is that there is a much broader definition of intelligence than years ago. We now know that there are many different types of intelligence; it's not just what the intelligence test measures. More…

Take One for the Team

I have a confession to make. And I must honestly admit that I wouldn't make this confession if it weren't for the fact that there was an important lesson that I want to share with you. So, based on the greater good, here goes: I watch "Desperate Housewives." What do I get out of it? Nothing -- except pure mindless relaxation. That was until last night's episode where a particular lesson was offered. And then, today, a client came in and we were working on an issue. As I tried to explain my point to him, it reminded me of last night's show. That convinced me to communicate my insight with you as well. The show More…

A Different Look at Attachment

I believe that I've shared with you the fact that aside from being a psychologist in private practice, I also serve on the faculty of a local University in the undergraduate Psychology Department. In this role, one of the things I pride myself in is the ability to explain to a student a concept that she may find difficult in a way that is understandable. Admittedly, it gives me great personal satisfaction when I see the student's face change from a blank stare to one of acknowledgment. More…

Perceiving is Believing -- Not!

Not too many weeks ago, my husband and I returned from a trip we took out in Utah. While there, we hiked some national parks -- Zion, Bryce, Snow Canyon, and Kolob. I cannot even begin to describe to you how magnificent these natural sites were. I couldn't stop gasping as we turned every corner. I think by now you know how even while I'm relaxing my brain never rests. I'm always on the "lookout" for special experiences or lessons that I can learn and share with you. Of course, when you look for something, you find it (that, in and of itself, is a lesson). A little help More…

All That Glitters Is Not Gold

I truly believe that life offers you lessons all the time. What is significant, of course, is whether you pick up the lesson or not. Sadly, too many times, you only pay attention to the big lessons ... the ones that hit you in the face like a cold pail of water. Recently, I encountered a life lesson that I wanted to share with you. Though it's a bit of a playful topic, there's also a point that can be drawn from the situation. It all centers around my birthday -- usually a day that gets duly noted. A birthday tale More…

Another Relationship Lesson - It's in the Connection

For the last several postings, I've written about topics based on information I received at a conference I attend each year, SmartMarriages. At this conference, there are numerous workshops that offer a wide variety of topics having to do with relationships. In my opinion, the most poignant comments were offered by Dr. Sue Johnson, a leading couples' therapist. So, I have saved the best for last. Her work, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), is founded on the principle that everyone needs to feel a sense of attachment. She makes the point that the brain is a social organ and that attachment is a need that exists from the cradle to the grave. More detail More…

Another Relationship Lesson - It's All in the Phrasing

I hope you've been reading the last couple of posts I've written. They have been based on information I gained at a conference I attend every year, SmartMarriages. At this annual meeting, there is a multitude of subjects presented on every aspect of relationships one could imagine. In today's blog, I'm not going to discuss a particular subject matter as an entity. Rather, I want to bring to your attention something having to do with how you communicate to your mate. To be honest, this insight can have meaning for anyone with whom you relate to where you are concerned with your communications. The ABC's of communication More…

Another Relationship Lesson - Money Matters

As I told you in last week's posting, I recently went to an annual conference, SmartMarriages. Through several days, there were a multitude of workshops on a diverse number of subjects having to do with relationships from all different aspects. Since so many couples argue about money, I decided to devote this week's blog to this concern. There were a lot of very interesting points brought out that I would like to pass on to you. Hopefully, this information will help your relationship. What does money mean to you? More…

Relationship Give and Take

Let's be honest -- one of the reasons you are in a relationship is because you want to get something out of it. Of course, what that "something" is can be very varied. But you don't stay in a relationship unless you're getting something from it. As a matter of fact, there's a theory which states that someone will continue a relationship as long as the benefits outweigh the costs. Once the costs are greater than the rewards, the partnership ends. Many couples have the belief that the relationship will be equal. This, in fact, is an incorrect expectation. When you think this way, you are likely to function with a mental scorecard only to be disappointed frequently. More…