Today
Support for People Who Are Just Starting Divorce
by Rinatta Paries
Posted August 7, 2007 11:00 AM
Posted August 7, 2007 11:00 AM
Posted in
Your Love & Relationship Coach at www.FixYourLoveLife.com and www.LoveCoachBlog.com
Are you just starting your journey through divorce? Divorce is a difficult, fearful journey, and you should not have to go it alone. But many people do.
I can’t think of a situation more painfully gut-wrenching than impending divorce. I am currently coaching a client in just this situation.
She came to me when her relationship was already in its death throes. We were able to save her sanity and self-esteem, but not her relationship. Now her husband has asked for a divorce, just as we knew he would. And I have watched a confident, powerful, creative woman dissolve into a quaking leaf of fear.
Her fear is temporary, and I am coaching her on how to deal with the fears that are coming up. She is also dealing with saying goodbye to both big and small things in her life, from her plans for the future to the plants in her garden. And she’s dealing with how to tell her child about what’s about to come.
But in all this, she needs support. She has me as her coach, and she has her friends. Still, when you are going through something like this, you almost need to be carried, as your own legs often won’t carry you willingly forward.
And that is what she is lacking – a community of people who are going through the same experience she is. She needs people who are just starting to face the reality that their marriage is about to dissolve and that they are going to have to face life – and in many cases parenting – alone.
She and I had a brilliant idea. Why not create an online support group, with a telephone coaching and resource components, to help people who are just beginning divorce, help them move through it well and thrive after it?
I am in the process of creating such a group and I need your help! Tell me what you need from a Divorce Support Group so that I can create a group that can carry you when you can't walk: Go here to tell me what you need.
Love Coach Rinatta Paries
Want to Fix or Find a Loving Relationship?
I can help!
www.FixYourLoveLife.com
www.LoveCoachBlog.com
Comments (19)
Have something to say? Share your thoughts.
Posted August 8, 2007 10:16 PM
I think it's a great idea. One of my best friend took action. She gathered all the single mother and form a association in the country. She ask for government support. Now this is what the single moms got:
1. Business Education and work training.
2. A group of business partners who are the same situations.
3. Motivation talk by great woman speakers.
4. Government incentives to support their life.
I think that's a great idea. You can also give great education on divorce such as what to do with kids, how to get a fair share from husband and what is the new future she can create!
Great contribution!
Posted August 8, 2007 12:24 PM
I have three best friends. One I can laugh with and I have cried with too, but she is not the one that I can complain too much to. I have another friend who overreacts and then when I'm trying to forget the problem she calls and brings it up over and over and over again. Then there is the third friend who just listens and feeds it back to me, like a shrink, who says "I know, honey" until I feel better. It's like the story of the three bears, you try until you find the one that is 'just right'. When someone is in crisis they need to say the same things over and over and over again. It is a pearl of a person who will listen to the same old story that is so depressing. We should all strive to be pearls, because at one time or another someday we're going to need one to listen to us. Now, go out and make the world your oyster!
Posted August 8, 2007 2:17 AM
Rinatta, several years ago I got friendly with a few women at my local "Y" where we all exercised. One of these ladies was going through a divorce and I could see it helped her to talk about the different aspects whenever she could. I'm a pretty good listener and it did not bother me in the least when she would unload, however I noticed some of her so called friends beginning to distance themselves from her. I think it was a combination of her same old problem annoying them and what I think of as "catching" the other person's problem. People who think their marriage is fine sometimes avoid a person who is going through a divorce as if they could catch it. Do you think there is anything to this theory ? I've noticed it when people talk about health probelms too. My wife has suffered from Vulvodynia for years and on a site dedicated to sufferers I often hear that these ladies cannot confide in their closest friends because they just don't want to hear it. Not that the details are so unpleasant, but it's like what they don't know can't hurt them. Getting back to the people going through divorce, a friend does not have to offer advice or solve the person's problems, just listen and care.
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