Speak Up

Today's post is going to be a bit unusual. The topic may seem different than my typical ones. And ... the tenor of it may also appear unlike the one I usually take. What is the same is the motivation for writing it. This blog was spurred on by a somewhat personal situation.

Though I try very hard in life to be a nice person and to approach others in an understanding way, there are times that it is necessary (yes -- necessary) to be more forceful.

The story behind the story

Someone to whom I'm very close is critically ill. He's been in the hospital for weeks and is hopefully about to get a stem cell transplant. Now, I don't mean that it's a good thing that he must receive a stem cell transplant; the "hopefully" indicates that we are hoping he will find an appropriate donor.

His wife has been by his side, attending to his every need. She has been at the hospital every day. She has cooked whatever he has wanted. She has served as his cheerleader. She has been a rock!

A few weeks back, she was given information that there were four possible donors. What a relief! Then, the head doctor comes in and speaks to her to advise her of when the transplant can take place. He also suggests she call the Donor Dept. She assures the doctor that there are four donors, but he again recommends that she follow-up.

When she does, she is given the information that none of the four people have yet come forward! She is told that it is part of the process ... the people have to come forth when they are told they are a match; the hospital cannot contact them.

But here's the rub: Later on, she finds out that the doctor could have told the Donor Dept. to be more aggressive. So now, it's a matter of "beat the clock." Will the others come forth? Will there be enough time to medically check these people out?

To add insult to injury, for weeks she had asked if friends and family could be checked as a possible match and kept being put off. Now, under the circumstances, she was finally given that information.

It's in your hands

I remember going to a lecture and hearing Dr. Bernie Siegel speak. One of the points he made that still resonates with me is that when you're in a hospital, you must make sure the nurses are aware of you -- even if it means being annoying. He stated that with so many patients, unless you make yourself known, you will be looked over.

It would be nice to think that being a nice, considerate person and playing by the rules all the time will get results. But, sometimes, it just doesn't work that way.

I have often spoken about the fact that being in a relationship helps you know you matter. At times, whether you are in a partnership or not, you have to let the world know you matter. You have to advocate for yourself.

Perhaps there just are too many people with needs; or, maybe there's too much stress and responsibility and not enough people or time to get it all done. So to make sure that your needs are taken care of, you must be proactive. You must take care of your needs. You cannot always place the responsibility for having those needs met in the hands of someone else! After all, who knows your needs better than you and can take better care of you than you?

Please excuse the indulgence of using this platform for sounding off. But I really felt this was important. The life you save may be your own.

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