Is There An Irritable Female Syndrome?

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     As most of you know I specialize in men’s health issues. My primary professional focus for the last 42 years is to help men and the women who love them. A few years ago I wrote a book, The Irritable Male Syndrome: Understanding and Managing the 4 Key Causes of Aggression and Depression. Based on research I had conducted with over 30,000 males I found that (1) hormonal fluctuations, (2) changes in brain chemistry, (3) increasing stress, and (4) confusion about the male role, all contribute to irritability, anger, and conflict in relationship. Many people have asked me if there is such a thing as "Irritable Female Syndrome."

     I’m convinced that there is. Men aren’t the only ones that go through these kinds of changes. Women, too, are subject to hormonal, physiological, psychological, sexual, social, and spiritual changes throughout life.

     One of the most difficult periods of life for men and women is mid-life, that time roughly between age 40 and 60 when major changes in our body, minds, and spirits ushers in a new stage of life. Menopause for women and Andropause for men have many similarities. Irritability and anger are things, I believe, we share at this time of life.

     My wife, Carlin, and I have both gone through this change. Both of us had long periods where we were hypersensitive, anxious, irritable, and difficult to live with. Human nature being what it is, of course, it seemed that her irritability and anger were much more hurtful to me than mine was to her. I’m sure she has the same perception. When we feel we are the victim of someone else’s anger, we always feel more wounded. When it is us to does the harm to others, we more often justify our anger as being the result of something done to us.

     A lot of focus is directed at male anger and aggression, but it seems to me that women are often irritable and hurtful. Louann Brizendine, M.D., in her book, The Female Brain, describes "aggression in pink." She says, "aggression means survival for both sexes, and both sexes have brain circuits for it. It’s just subtle in girls, perhaps reflecting their unique brain chemistry."

     Brizendine confides that she almost left the topic of aggression out of her book. "I was lulled into a warm glow appreciating the communicative and social female brain circuits. I was nearly fooled by the female aversion to conflict into thinking that aggression simply wasn’t part of our makeup."

     I know many women who can be quite cutting and hurtful in their relationships, but deny that they are irritable or angry. They insist that it is really the man who is the one who is aggressive. They are simply defending themselves or reacting to his insensitivity.

     Dr. Brizendine describes the menopausal time of life as particularly difficult. "Irritability, lack of mental focus, and fatigue can be caused by low estrogen and made worse by lack of sleep." These changes can have a negative impact on relationships. "If you don’t sleep well for several days," she warns, "it can be hard to concentrate; you may also become m ore impulsive and irritable than usual and say things you wish you hadn’t. So this may actually be a good time to bite your tongue in order to protect relationships."

     It has been difficult for many men to recognize that there is something that is causing their irritability and anger—something going on inside their own body, mind and spirit—not just being causes by outside forces. I think it’s time for women to recognize that many of them have their own Irritable Female Syndrome. What do you think?