Today
Is Food Your Love Substitute?
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Dr. Mitchell is co-author of Fat is Not Your Fate, Eat to Stay Young and I’d Kill for a Cookie.
Visit her websites: http://www.susanmitchell.org and http://www.fatisnotyourfate.com
The other day while riding the bike at the gym, I was watching a talk show on weight loss. One woman had gained a tremendous amount of weight over the years. In fact, she said that even as an infant and young child she was overweight. She always felt that her father never loved her because she was fat. As she shared her story, her deep emotions spilled out that her father had treated her differently from the other children. Inside she felt unloved and ugly, desperately wanting her father’s attention and love.
My ears perked up even more when she talked about how food replaced the love she wasn’t receiving and how she began to turn to food for comfort and to feel better. The deep-stuffed emotions had led to extreme weight gain over time that she is now dealing with.
As the holidays approach, I hear a great deal more about food, families, and relationships. Many people gain several pounds over the next three month ‘eating frenzy’ that goes from now through the Super Bowl. Yes, some weight gain comes from eating food you normally pass up but other pounds can come from trying to cope with the flood of emotions.
Do you see yourself here? Do the holidays elicit strong emotions (which can be both happy and sad ones) that lead you to eat for comfort? It’s very common. After all, food is legal, ubiquitous and not looked down upon.
If food starts calling your name louder than ever this holiday season, ask yourself why. Are you enjoying the temptations of the season or eating to mask some emotion? If the later is the case, begin to make alternative plans now that will help you to focus on positive events. Decide to volunteer where you know help is needed. Plan events with friends or family where the mood is supportive and upbeat so you have less time to bathe in negative feelings. By supporting others that need help and turning the negative into a positive, there will be fewer occasions to use food as your love substitute.
If you have successful tips that you have used in the past, please share them.
Dr. Susan
Comments
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Posted November 12, 2006 7:41 PM
http://pcbloggs.blogspot.com/2006/11/good-old-britain_10.html
Probably the best discription from a WPC about how the elderly can be forgotten. It should be read in every school. Heartbreaking.
Posted November 8, 2006 2:08 PM
Dr. Susan, in years past when our individual familes would converge on one household for a holiday everyone would bring goodies. What started as a basically healthy meal of turkey, veggies and maybe a pumkin pie has become a eating frenzy. Bowls of candies are easily accessible before the meal and there is a separate table for pies and several decadent cakes. My one suggestion would be to limit the goodies or extras and keep it simple, for those of us who have no say in the menu all we can do is eat more turkey and veggies so we won't fill up on the junk.
Posted November 9, 2006 7:13 AM
Awhile back my husband's family realized that they only knew how to relate to one another over food. Food was the center of all of their interactions. They were all struggling with weight issues. So, that year, among other things, the kids (all grown) settled on a simple menu for Thanksgiving. (Without the two or 3 main entree's, the scalloped and mashed potatoes, and the 5 jello salads, 3 different pies, cakes, etc., etc..
Their mom had a real hard time with it. For a few years she kept trying to continue with the excessive foods. But her kids would have none of it. It was all very interesting and beautiful to watch them each make the effort to interact with one another beyond food.
And, we enjoyed more plesant holidays with less time spent in the kitchen preparing and cleaning up. That is great in itself. The family organized card and board games, reminisced over old photos, told interesting old family stories, took walks together with the kids, etc.
During the rest of the year they made efforts to get together without food. It was not easy sometimes because food, for many of us is how we socialize and connect with one another.
And, I think, too, that excessive food eating dulls the stress of family get togethers....just like excessive alcohol consumption.
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