A Brave and Amazing Woman

To the editor of the Spectator: I'm Hanala Stadner, the author of the TRAUMEDY Ben Stein slashed in an article I was just made aware of. Actually, t'was ME he slashed. My memoir, "My Parents Went Through the Holocaust and All I Got was This Lousy T-shirt" is not how my parents survived Hitler, but how I survived my parents. Instead of The Cat in the Hat, I heard about The Aunt in the Camp. And GAS CHAMBERS, and how I was named after my mother's sister who died in one. It's about the traumatized parents who could do no better than to pass the trauma on to their little daughter. It's about growing up Holocaust. It's also about conquoring an addiction that almost killed me. Obviously Ben Stein's therapist isn't the genius Ben says he is. Or, Ben has been impervious to developing any emotional maturity. Ben is more plastic than any surgery I may have had! To judge someone by how they look rather than who they are, and to put such importance on what car they drive is pretty shallow and one dimensional, no? (Especially as he slides into his luxurious automobile.) What does driving a Range Rover have to do with overcoming trauma? Ben has NO idea what kind of hell I had to go through to save my life because, obviously, he's in a hell of his own. The e-mails I get from other "survivors" thanking me for writing the book are real. Ben's view is only real to Ben. Yes, it's true, I exercise. I have to; it comes with being an aerobics instructor. I teach fitness classes to support my habit (paying for food). Also, now with 23 years of sobriety, I am a substance abuse counselor, therefore accustomed to dealing with one-dimensional thinking. But his remark about me and men and getting on my knees makes me mad and makes me wonder: I've made it clear to Ben that I wouldn't go out with him; so,he's one guy I won't be, as Ben put it, getting on my knees to "thank". He called me statuesque. I'm 5'4". So you know he's suffering from delusions and lack of grandeur. He truly needs a new pair of glasses. And maybe, some different therapy goals? To see some of the book's responses and reviews, please go to http://www.myspace.com/hanalas The Holocaust didn't end in Poland. It came to over to America on boats. And became a syndrome. One that almost killed me. My Parents had Hitler, I had drugs and alcohol. And my share of evil men. There were 12 million Jews in Europe before the Holocaust. Hitler killed half. That left 6 million feeling guilty. And most of them had kids. Now, 23 years sober, I'm reaching out to all of us... and to the people who marry us. I want to explain growing up Holocaust. I want to explain why alcoholics drink, and why what you (normies) say, may just get us angrier. I put it in a book I call a TRAUMEDY. Trauma + Time = Comedy. "My Parents Went Through the Holocaust and All I Got was This Lousy T-shirt" is doing well. And LOOK at what people are saying: "I laughed, I cried, and I marveled at how much the pain and sorrow of life's lessons in personal transformation could be wrapped up in such side-splitting humor. I loved this book." --Rabbi Steven Carr Reuben, Ph.D., past president, Board of Rabbis of Southern California ********************************************************* "The book breezes along at a fast pace, with the standout sections dealing with Stadner's harrowing drug addiction and eventual recovery. What shines is her insightful wit, comparable to that of Tama Janowitz or A.M. Homes. Her honesty (which includes discussing numerous sexual entanglements) and willingness to be vulnerable makes her a very sympathetic character. Recommended for all public libraries, especially those serving Jewish communities . . ." --Jennifer Zarr, NYPL, American Library Journal ********************************************************* "I couldn't put it down. It's profound and at the same time hysterically funny. I laughed out loud at the chapter titles alone!" Jess Walton, EMMY award-winning actress ********************************************************* on Amazon: A STAR IS BORN, June 30, 2006 Reviewer: Malka Eisenberg My Parents Went Through the Holocaust and All I Got was this Lousy Tshirt, by S HANALA STADNER, is one of the most poignant books I have read on this topic. I too am a child of survivors, and as all second generation children was greatly affected by the tragedy that befell my family, and the Jewish people as a whole. All my life, I have devoured every book written by survivors, by their children, and by historians. Never has someone presented this topic in the manner Ms. Stadner has. Her astute observations, her facility as a raconteur, her psychological insight, and her brilliant sense of humour is masterful. My heart is filled with empathy and compassion for the suffering she endured. My mind is filled with admiration and respect for the struggles she overcame. She is indeed a survivor. Malka Eisenberg,Psychotherapist *********************************************************** Funny & Insightful...and over too quickly. May 7, 2006 Reviewer: Alfred Lloyd Gaspar This is one of those books replete with things that will stick with you. So much of it has the 'ring of truth' described in a magical way that captures exactly the thoughts you've had so many times before, but which weren't quite clear until Hanala picked the words you've been looking for. You'll chuckle throughout... unless you're laughing hysterically. Fun, original and somehow so familiar. You'll know yourself better with every read. Al G. *********************************************************** A heart full of funny and sad, May 11, 2006 Reviewer: K. Breckenridge I have read "My Parents Went Through the Holocaust..." twice now. I had to read it the second time just to savour the clever plays on words and situations. An example: Hanala calls her story a "traumedy," which to me is perfectly descriptive of this book, trauma seen through a comedic lens. Also, I found wisdom in her stories, never preachy but coming through as a strong subtext. I really liked this book. *********************************************************** Historical and Hysterical!, June 29, 2006 Reviewer: Jody Cohan "writer and editor" (Los Angeles) Don't let the title of this book offend you, or scare you away. Once you read My Parents Went Through the Holocaust and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt, it will make perfect sense. The book is historical AND hysterical --in both senses of the word. One moment you are laughing out loud, the next bent over as if you had just been punched in the stomach. Hanala's storytelling is powerful and poignant, and her plays on words and command of language are truly entertaining. ********************************************************* some of the mail: Dear Hanala, I just finished reading your book, and I could really relate to it. My mother is a Holocaust survivor. I got so much out of your book. Many of the things you wrote about your mother reminded me of my mother, which helped me to understand her a little more. Fortunately for me, my mother married an American, which I guess you could say gave me a 50-50 shot at having a normal life. Another thing I learned from your book is, that I understood more Yiddish than I thought. Loved the book, Sharon **** Hanala-- i loved it, finished it in 2 days .....it really hit home because i do have an alcohol problem as well,however still drinking. so, i loved it, i related to almost everything. love nilou **** To: hellohanala@aol.com Sent: Thu, 25 May 2006 12:29:12 -0700 Subject: Quick comment before I buy your book I passed by a poster on Westwood and National and saw your book which I had never heard about. My immediate reaction was disdain, as my parents are holocaust survivors. Or is it Holocaust with a cap H? Anyway, I listened to your reading online and got it. I am now going to see if Borders has the book because your life mirrors mine. While I don’t like the typical Jackie Mason stereotypes, I have to admit my mother sounds a lot like your mother and all Jewish European-born mothers. So I just wanted you to know that my impulsive anger has turned to understanding. You are right, the Holocaust has lived through me. Harvey **** Los Angeles, CA ********************************************************** Ms. Stadner, I'm now sixty. My parents are dead. I've had so much therapy....I became a therapist as well. As much time as I put in on the "couch" I was finally allowed to sit up! I, too, couldn't put the book down. The insights, the entertaining style you add to express important lessons.....not only organized our collective memories into something more tangible but gives others permission to know what it feels like and to begin to connect the feelings with their(similar)experience. You probably know this already. I wish to acknowledge, it sure as hell worked for me. Many thanks and warm regards, Larry **** P.S. I just bought and sent a copy to my brother. Sincerely, S. Hanala Stadner