Will You Still Love Me?

Did it ever occur to you that the reason certain comedians are so funny is because they have the uncanny ability to be keen observers of life? Their routines are about what they see around them and what we all know to be true. Like such a comedian, I tend to write my blogs from observations I make in the day-to-day occurrences of relationships.

As I've often told you, when I see a similar pattern happen, I know it's a "sign" that I'm meant to learn a lesson and then share it with you. Today's posting is based on one such lesson.

Love feels like a security blankie

It's true -- when you are in love and feel loved, everything else just seems nicer. It almost makes everything in the world feel safer as well. That's why your relationships are so important to you.

But stop and think about it ... the truth is that this sense of connection and feeling loved extends to other significant relationships in your life, not just those with whom you are romantically involved. When things are awry with a close friend or a family member, it's likely that you feel quite disrupted also.

Not too long ago, two good friends of mine who are best friends with one another each told me about an incident between them. One was particularly stressed and inappropriately lashed out at the other. When the "wrong-doer" apologized, her best friend retorted, "You never need to apologize to me." In essence, her message was that the bond between them was so close, she could accept her friend's poor behavior and still love her.

On a more personal note, I recently spent an extended period of time traveling with my daughter. She was under a terrific amount of stress and ended up releasing that stress on me. When our time was over, she did apologize. In response, I reminded her of a game we played when she was a child where she'd make all sorts of contorted faces and ask if I'd still love her. I know she got my message: "I love you no matter what."

When all is not safe and sound

It's easy to tell your partner that you love him or her when he or she is being nice. It's not difficult to show your affection when things are calm between the two of you. But what about during times of stress? I find that stress will either draw you closer to one another or pull you apart.

There may be times, however, where the stress is only being experienced by your partner. And ... your mate may not realize or be able to acknowledge what is going on. This truly becomes a test of your love. Can you show your compassion and offer your love even when the going gets rough?Can you look past the moment and still remember the essence of who your mate (friend/family member) is? I remember years ago, the mother of a college friend saying that when someone least looks like he or she needs love is when that person needs it most. Think about it ... how true those words are!

Yes -- it's easy to love when things are going well, but it means so much more to know you are loved when someone is there for you when things are not. If you want your relationships to endure, let your partner know that you are there for the long haul.

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