The Stress of Holidays

We are officially into the Holiday Season and many of you have already had to deal with the stress of this time of year. But there’s more to come! I’m not referring to the gift buying and all the preparation, though those are certainly fraught with tension as well. But for many of you, the Holidays bring lots of emotional stress.

As with anything else, you approach this time of year with expectations. These expectations come from a variety of sources: your upbringing, what you have observed in others, what the media displays. And for most, there is the belief that it is at this time of year that people are happily surrounded by loved ones sharing joyous memories and good times. The reality, however, more often than not, doesn’t match the thought process.

The trigger points

There are a variety of reasons that the “Donna Reed” family fantasy cannot occur. In these days, most families are no longer living in close proximity to one another. This makes getting together difficult. It may even mean having to alternate visits with one family and the other on different years.

With the high divorce rate, the make-up of many families is now quite complex. Time distribution and getting to see everyone is certainly a challenge.

And, of course, the truth is that all families are dysfunctional to some degree. As much as you’d like to get together and enjoy one another, there’s a good chance that when all of you gather, there’s going to be some element of buttons getting pushed. It may almost seem like what is supposed to be happy and joyous is a test in emotional endurance.

For others, there may be a sense of sadness at this time of year. Perhaps there are people who are no longer with you and you’re very aware of their absence now. Of course, this can be due to either someone’s passing or a relationship break-up. Either is a loss and is painful.

Sadness can also result from you not feeling you’re at a place where you should be. Does it look like everyone else is happy and that there is something missing for you? Are you not satisfied with being single or your career?

This year, especially, many of you are experiencing anxiety and/or fear. Some of you have been directly hit by the present economic situation. Others are anticipating a problem … which can be rather unnerving.

The way out

So, with all of these possible negative situations, how does one possibly survive this time of year? The answer, Dorothy, is within you. First, know that there are some realities you cannot change. Acceptance of what is -- whether it is a quirky family, an unmet goal, or a broken relationship, does help the process of finding peace.

When you can reach acceptance, when you can “let go,” your emotions are less heightened. From this vantage point, you can reflect more easily on other possibilities. You can even explore where the emotions are stemming from and do some healing work, if necessary.

It is also very important to know that whatever situation is happening, it is transitional. Though it feels awful now, it will pass. Again, through the power of your inner calmness, you will be able to achieve a much higher sense of clarity, hopefulness, and peace.

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