‘Tis The Season to Be Jolly – Right?

I love happy people. Most of us all love and want to be around happy people. But I think I’ve learned the most from those who are temporarily in a funk – only, however, if they confess to it and ask for help. I had an interesting reminder of this recently and it has really stuck with me since then.

I live in an intentional community. Not a commune, please don’t think that, but a group of sixteen people who want to live together, eat together, garden together, own stuff together and support each other in times of joy, celebration and need. Not many people get to live like this and there are many benefits. One of the greatest benefits is when someone needs help. It’s a benefit because we all get to know that person on a much deeper, personal level and it is that very thing that causes me not to be jovial as much as deeply happy. It gives me a feeling of being embedded in humanity and that makes my heart leap and sing.

Back to my story – We have a 30 year old woman living on our fifteen acres with us who is a nurse, a newly ordained nurse. She has recently had her responsibility increased because of her schooling and her second week at work in a small, rural clinic gave her the experience of having the first person ever in forty-five years die at the clinic on her watch. Though there was nothing she could have done to prevent the death she collapsed under the strain of it all. Her background, it turns out, is the enabler of an alcoholic family that she has taken care of all of her life. Everything fell apart for her. She wouldn’t see her father, her mother, her brother and old friends but she did, in a passionate leap of faith, reach out to her community here. She fell apart and trusted her heart and fate to us and over the next two weeks she emerged a different person – strong, able, confident and trusting in the vulnerability that transcended her closed, alone place inside of her.

So it’s vulnerability that I’m getting to here. Being vulnerable seems like it is counter-intuitive but it isn’t. When we fall apart and trust in our friends, family and lovers a treasure chest of love, support, compassion, truth, understanding and universal feelings emerge that connect all of us to a greater source of strength. I’ve never learned even close to these kinds of tender love feelings with someone who is jolly all the time. I invite you to be present with whatever is up in you and I encourage you to talk to someone. Expose yourself just a little and see what happens. There are true jewels in the truth telling of what aches in you and this is especially true and difficult if you are someone who generally doesn’t do that kind of thing. If you are hurting tell someone, I bet they are feeling the same thing and they can sense it in you already. Don’t hide and wait for it to go away – bring the issues to light and you’ll discover how it helps everyone else in your life including you!

For more information about Suzie Heumann and her work, visit www.tantra.com. To really get the most out of your loving, consider some advanced training. The Tantric Sex Guide is your 24 hour a day guide to the skills that will take you to new heights of pleasure and intimacy.