You've undoubtedly read that your relationships can affect your weight--especially your ability to lose it. Your mother, who always seems to be pushing food at family occasions; your teens, who insist on stocking the cupboards with Flaming Hot Cheetos; your husband, who won't eat anything but steak for dinner.
Sound familiar? Indeed, the people in your life can have an enormous impact on your attempt to get fit. But the most vital relationship in your weight-loss journey is your relationship with food. Just ask Janice Hay, 43, who lost 65 pounds and has maintained her weight loss for 6 years. "I used to think of food as something to be avoided, an enemy," says Hay, who lives in Clarkston, Washington. "I now realize that food is fuel-something I need regularly and can't live without. I'm finally at peace with food."
Weight-loss experts concur. Food is certainly a component in life, but should not consume your life. You simply cannot substitute eating to deal with other issues like stress, family conflicts, work issues. Here's how you can begin your break-up with food and establish a more peaceful accord with your meals, snacks and cravings.
Next page: Neither friend nor foe
Recognize that food is not your friend... nor your enemy. Food cannot fulfill your emotional needs. In the long-term, chocolate cake a la mode is not going to lift your spirits or take away stress or fill empty hours. That's what your real friends are for. Many people substitute a relationship with a person for a relationship with food. They're looking at food as a loving person that can give them what they want. Food-plain and simply--provides the nutrients your body and all its functions need. It gives you the energy to get through your busy day (as well a your workouts!).
Accept yourself and your temperament: If you're a stress eater, choose some low-cal snacks, and limit a stress-eating episode to 200 calories. This is a good start, and more realistic than saying "I won't eat when I'm stressed." Think before you eat. If you use food to soothe you, reflect on the reasons causing your distress and how you can better manage it, either on your own, with a friend or therapist (see "Seek Help," below). Then make a healthier snack choice. Avoid absolutes. Pick a change that is easy to stick with for the long-term. There are many changes we can all incorporate. For example: Do not say, "I'll never eat chips again." Do say, "When I want chips, I'll stick to one 100-calorie pack." Next page: More food for thought Don't use food as the focal point for social activity. When you want to get together with friends, suggest something other than a meal. For instance, instead of hosting a potluck dinner to get to know your neighbors better, propose a quick dinner and afterward a night of bowling. Replace lunch with the girls with a walk. Don't worry: You'll still be able to catch up on all the gossip, but without all those calories! Do not give up your must-have favorites: Avoid deprivation by allowing yourself a personal food treat at least twice a week, if not daily. This strategy works well for Janice Hay, who says that eating her most-adored foods has actually helped her maintain her 65-pound loss. "There were certain foods I was just not willing to give up," she says. "Namely, cookies and brownies." So she sought out lower-calorie versions of these gooey treats and found them in Gnu bars and GoLean Kashi bars. "They're absolutely delicious," she asserts. "I've been eating them for years!"
Seek help. Changing your relationship with food is difficult to do on your own. Professional counseling is helpful, especially since there is usually something else going on to cause the overeating. Until you deal with underlying issues of why you overeat, you can't really conquer your weight issue. Remember that the underlying issue for many overeaters is that they substitute food for a real-life relationship. Food can make you feel full, not empty, inside. Plus, it's comforting and relaxing. Breaking up with food takes a lot of effort-and most experts agree that therapy can be beneficial. That's because you must be prepared to do some mental work to change your relationship with food.
