Dating Shame
Posted August 27, 2007 3:41 PM
QUESTION: My husband died a year ago, and I've started a new relationship. My friends and family are horrified I'm involved again so soon.
Even my sister, who's been a widow for 10 years and knows what it's like to be lonely, is against me.
My new man is very caring and happy to take things slowly. We're not talking wedding bells, just enjoying each other's company. How can I make them see how right this new relationship is for me?
ANSWER: People often have opinions about how soon to consider a new relationship following the death of a partner. A year is fairly commonly accepted as the benchmark.Unfortunately, we can't please all the people all the time. You're entitled to live your life in the best way for you.Unless friends and family have specific worries you're being taken advantage of financially or in some other way, it's likely to be just a matter of time until they can accept your new partner.Let them have their own time to grieve and move on. If they never come to tolerate your new partner, don't let it spoil your happiness.
Source: Daily Mirror. Powered by YellowBrix.
Comments
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Posted September 2, 2009 6:07 AM
I lost my wife 2 1/2 years ago. Six months ago I met a widow (through a bereavement group that we both attend) who has just had the anniversary of her husband death this past July. We have a wonderful time when we are together and at the moment we have become very good friends. I'm just fine with all of this and am very willing to take it slow because I understand what she is going through. The only problem I have is that when it comes to mentioning me to some of her husband (and her own though she doesn't see them much) Family I don't seem to have a name. I'm always "the guy from the bereavementgroup". I'm not real troubled by this because I did the same thing for a while. It is starting to bother me as we spend more time with each other.
Posted August 10, 2009 3:00 PM
My husband died a year ago in July. I made some new friends by September, one of which bloomed into a romance within 6 months. I'm glad to see that you feel it's when I am ready. I was married almost 25 years to a wonderful man, but don't want to be alone. My new love is a wonderful guy too!. My husbands family had a horrible time accepting the fact that I decided to move forward with my life.
Posted August 1, 2008 3:21 PM
I think you should tell them that this is your life and they can be involved or not, but you are going to do what makes you happy. They will come around. When you lose a loved one like this, you have to tell yourself they are in a better place and then. . . you get you to a better place. You sleep when you want, eat when you want, you take time to do what you want, to learn what makes you happy and do it. Might sound selfish, but it is not. We all have to find our niche and some sooner and some later. It has been a little over a year now since my husband passed away and I can truly say, that I am happy. I am learning to rely/depend on myself and if I chose to find a new partner it is no ones business but mine. So, since this is YOUR life only YOU can live it and you will and you will do it the way that makes YOU happy.
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