Widow/Widower Dating

Dealing with the loss of a spouse can be the most difficult thing someone ever goes through and dating again may seem impossible at the time. In fact, there are widows and widowers who never move past their grief. Others, though, may believe early on that going out with a newfound match is disrespectful but eventually feel comfortable looking for love again. It is completely natural as time goes by for a bereaved person to want to get back in the game. When the moment is right and you're looking to start over, these tips may help you find it easier to connect with another companion.

Take Your Time The time frame will be different for everyone who has gone through that kind of loss. Take the time necessary to heal properly so you can offer something to the person you are going to start dating. If you think you’re ready but find that you’re not, let the person you are dating know that and take more time.

Be Clear With Your Expectations Do you ever want to get married again or are you just looking for someone to share fun times with? Or are you just looking for someone to talk to? All of these options are more than OK but you need to be frank with your partner from the beginning so there are no surprises as the relationship begins to build.

Don’t Compare This may seem obvious but it is extremely important. It is possible that you lost what you thought was your soul mate and in your eyes no one will ever compare. That is completely OK but it isn’t fair to you or the people you are with if you are always comparing them to a memory. You will naturally keep only the best memories of your lost spouse so comparing a person who isn’t perfect to a memory isn’t realistic and will only cause problems in the long run.

Share Your Feelings with Your Children If you have children, make sure they understand that you are by no means trying to replace their mother or father. Explain to them that you deserve to be happy as well and that this is part of that process. Be certain the communication is a two-way conversation. Be open to their concerns about the person you are dating or their concerns with your dating in general and explain to them where you are coming from.

Get Out There Ultimately you need to be happy. By no means are you cheapening the relationship you had with your lost spouse by dating someone else. That was a special relationship but you deserve to get on with your life. Keep the past and the present separate if you can and everything should work out just fine. Listen to your own feelings and communicate those feelings with whomever you bring into your life.